Psycho killer, Quest Que Cest? fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better

The scene I’m about to post was derived in my reading and writing short stories class during one of my professors crazy activities. She thoroughly enjoys tossing us into these creative writing fits and this is another one of her “I’ve been sniffing glue” activities.

This is how it goes: two characters taken from different stories written for the class- a random setting in Des Moines-two random desires fitted for each character.

Setting: Des Moines airport security check-in the weekend before thanksgiving in 2001

Character/Desire: Clay-to go to sleep and Anonymous psycho killer- to meet jesus

Of course, the security check-in attendant choose me to randomly search. He groped the seams of my Wrangler jeans; I stared straight ahead vacantly at his name tag: Hello my name is Clay. In the aftermath of September 11th the number of Clays swarming around the airport terminal had doubled. He glanced suspiciously at the image displayed on the x-ray screen. It was probably ill-advised to be toting around a bag of human hair, but I wanted to take them with me wherever I go. Lucky for me Clay just raised his eyebrow, confiscated my citrus fruit, and waved me along unenthusiastically.

“Sir, can you please put your bag in the overhead compartment and place your tray in the upright and locked…”

At this point the stewardess noticed the French braids growing in my lap with my shirt collar up over my nose. The petite black woman in the aisle seat stared at me woozily and stumbled to the bathroom. The stewardess opened her mouth to admonish me for my craft project and I shoved the chloroform soaked braid  in her mouth like a horse bit. Battling through the throng of fainting passengers I thrust open  the cockpit door and  shouted “take me to  jesus.”

“Sir, you’re already on your way to Las Vegas.”


So I’ve decided I’m going to write a novel

The internship search for the summer continues to look less than promising, solution? Write a novel!!!

The game plan:

1. get a job at a random cafe- preferably Stumptown

2. spend everyday writing on my laptop until my fingers bleed- or not

3. finish and send off to publishers

4. post random pieces of it on my blog keeping my fingers crossed that the stuffwhitepeoplelike situation happens to me and I am given a $300,000 book deal that helps me pay for college

5. study abroad

6. go to grad school

7. write for the rest of my life

Sounds easy enough!